MARRIAGE ADVICE CONTINUED (3)

41. You need to date your mate. Date night is sacred and special and should be on the same day of the week every week. One week the wife should suggest the date idea and the husband should come up with the date night plan for the opposite week. This encourages both the husband and wife to be invested in date night. - Julie Spira, Dating and Relationship Coach

42. Learn and practice Tantra. - Judith Condon

43. Set aside 10 minutes a day to talk to your partner. Ask what her favorite movie is and why, ask him to recall a happy memory from childhood, ask her what she'd like to be remembered for, ask him to name the three worst songs of all time. Do it at dinner, before bed, or anytime as long as you do it for 10 minutes every day. This simple change infuses relationships with new life. - Dr. Terri Orbuch, Ph.D

44. You can have control or you can have connection with your partner, but you can't have both. Pursue connection! - Lee Horton, Ph.D

45. Every week if possible, go out on a date just like you did before you were married. Select an activity where the two of you can interact, talk, and just be together enjoying each other's company (not a movie!). End your date in the bedroom. Works like a charm! - Ann Robbins, CRC

46. When you first see each other at the end of your respective days, before you do anything else, hold each other without speaking for at least 60 seconds. By doing so you remind each other's old/reptilian brains that you are a source of pleasure and comfort. It's simple, it's easy to do, and it will make a world of difference. – Laura Marshall, LCSW

47. On those ever-important date nights, remember to be a wife first and a critic second. Every time you open your mouth to complain about something — whether it's the food, the service, the movie, the weather, whatever — some part of your partner feels he's failing because you aren't having a great time. Men are happiest when they can please their woman! Save the full critique for your girlfriends and in meantime, let him see the best in you. – Delaine Moore, Dating and Relationship Coach

48. Lean in. When it gets hard in a relationship, our tendency is to protect ourselves, to retreat, to "lean out." Leaning out when your partner reaches out creates distance and dissonance. If instead you "lean in" to the uncomfortable feelings, to the unknown and your own vulnerability, and meet your partner, you can actually strengthen your relationship through the struggles you face together. - Christine Arylo, Life Coach

49. Have you lost that loving feeling? Step
Step 1. Write down 10 qualities you loved about your partner when you first met and read it to each other.
Step 2: Brainstorm a list of 10 fun things you did together when you first met; do one date per week and enjoy bringing back that loving feeling! - Tasha Dimling, Dating Coach, MBA

50. You're entitled to the occasional bad mood. You're not entitled to make your partner the whipping boy. - Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW