Marriage principles that guarantees happy, healthy, satisfying and long-lasting union (Part 1)
Marriage principles that guarantees happy, healthy, satisfying and long-lasting union (Part 1)
Marriage is not for the show. It doesn't really matter what
outsiders think about your marriage, only God is the sole audience of your marriage.
Some couples go out of their way to improve the cosmetic appearances of their marriages
to impress outsiders while inwardly their marriages are falling apart. While extravagant
weddings & anniversaries; expensive gifts & exotic vacations may
impress outsiders, they really don't add value to marriage; often they leave
couples buried under insurmountable debt. The most important things in life
that really add value to your marriage are free; these are:
- Unconditional love
- Respect
- Courtesy
- Submission
- Affection
- Intimacy
- Honesty
- Companionship
- Commitment &
- Admiration.
Turn your eyes away from people and purpose together to apply
these simple and free divine marriage principles and watch God turn your marriage
into a happy, healthy, satisfying and long-lasting holy union.
Marriage has no trial period. A spouse has no return policy.
Marriage is permanent. When you say I do and God says it’s done, nobody has the
power to undo. Marriage is for life “until death do us part.
Husbands: Your wife is not a trophy. Once you get a trophy
you bring it home, put it on display and forget about it. But a loving husband
will not stop pursuing her wife and he will not stop trying to show how much he
loves her and how much she means to him, even after he brings her home. Falling
in love with her is easy, but staying in love with her for the rest of your life
is what makes her feel prized and special.
Husbands: Stand up for your wife and protect her from the
attacks that come from the people close to you. Let your family & friends
know that when it comes to your wife & marriage, there is a line they
cannot cross. If you have to take sides then always take your wife’s side. From
the day you say “I do” your wife displaces your parents, friends &
siblings. Apart from God, your wife now occupies & assumes the privileged
first place of honor in your life. Oftentimes it requires that you lovingly
stand up for your wife in front of your parents, especially your mother.
“Therefore what God has joined together, let no (mother, father, brother,
sister, friend or boss) separate.
Wives: Your husband cannot become a leader if you're not
willing to follow. The Bibles says "Wives, submit yourselves to your own
husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as
Christ is the head of the church." Ephesians 5:22,23. But submission
doesn't come naturally; it is a product of humility. Regardless of his many
faults & weaknesses & regardless of your profession or position in
society; make a willful decision to humble yourself, obey God & put
yourself under the spiritual leadership of your husband. Give your husband his
rightful position below Christ. Submission doesn't make you inferior or a door
mat. It makes you a virtuous wise woman. The power of a virtuous woman is not
in physical strength but she uses her great power of influence to make a great
man & respected leader in her husband. The world sees your husband through
your eyes. What picture of him are you painting? Remember you're identified by
his name. Don't expect the world to treat you like a queen when you treat your
man like a dog. If you treat him like a dog it just makes you Mrs. Dog. Make
him the man you're proud to be his wife.
Husbands: Keep dating your wife. Keep courting her. Keep
building her up. Keep pursuing her. Keep making her feel special. Keep choosing
her above friends & family. Keep honoring her, respecting her &
cherishing her above all others. Keep admiring her & keep telling her “You
are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.” (Songs of Solomon
4:7) You chose her out of the billions of women in the world; therefore keep
loving her & keep focusing on her like you did before you married her. Keep
forsaking all others & keep reserving yourself only for her. “Enjoy life with
your beloved wife during all the days of your fleeting life that God has given
you on earth during all your fleeting days; for that is your reward in life and
in your burdensome work on earth.” (Ecclesiastes 9:9).
Husbands: What you did to get your wife is what you should
do to keep her. Never stop courting her. Never stop treating her like your
queen. Never stop getting out of your way to make her happy. Never stop
surprising her with thoughtful gift & kind deeds. Never stop cherishing her
& placing her above everyone except God. Never stop showering her with
compliments & encouragements. Never stop thanking her for everything she
does for you & the family. Never stop telling her how much you love her
& how beautiful she is. Hold her hand, look her in the eyes & tell her
"There are many virtuous & capable women in the world, but you surpass
them. You can never notice & appreciate how beautiful your wife is until
you stop looking lustfully at other women.
Warning: Never use sex as a weapon or as incentive or reward
for good behavior. Denying your spouse his/her sexual privileges as punishment
is like driving a wedge through an already cracked wall. The Devil will use the
opportunity to destroy your marriage by bringing to your spouse someone ready
to freely give him/her what you’re denying him/her. Sexual intimacy is the glue
that joins you together; never use it to separate you. Ladies; a man can have a
heated discussion with you at 10:00 & at 10:05 he could be ready for sexual
intimacy like nothing ever happened. Be grateful that he still finds you
attractive & resistible even when he is mad at you; minister to him. Guys;
your woman is not ready for sexual intimacy until she finds emotional security
in you; take time to minister to her emotionally first.
Beware of unresolved feelings of anger, resentment, bitterness,
hate & revenge. They are toxic, corrosive, venomous, paralyzing &
limiting. Unresolved negative feelings are like cancer -quick detection &
timely remedy is the solution.
Ignored & unresolved feelings cause deep discomfort,
deadly disease & debilitating depression. Be courageous. Be honest. Examine
your heart, acknowledge & admit the presence of buried & unresolved
issues. Let your spouse know exactly what is on your heart & together deal
with the issues without delay.
Unresolved negative feelings will hold your marriage captive
in the past. Jesus promises power to break free from these enslaving shackles.
Choose today to forgive your spouse & release your marriage from the
shackles of the past. Forgive, Release & Let Go! To be continued, look for part 2 & 3
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